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Is it OK to Disagree?

I think it is safe to say that my last post has generated quite a lot of feedback and response from random strangers, friends and very close family. Many really disagree with me. Let me try and take a few minutes to unpack a few more thoughts and respond to a few points.

First, when dealing with diverse cases peoples emotions get played with. Everyone has some real personal experience that shapes their opinions. I shared mine to show people where my opinion was coming from. There is no doubt that people who went through divorce, or abuse will have an absolutely different opinion than me. I thank the people who were able to share their opinions without demonizing me.

One of the things I try to do is find areas of agreement and have civil discussions about very controversial topics. Let me say that after reading all the responses, I would like to change one particular point that seemed to really bother some. While I can understand why the Judge placed the children into juvenile detention, the point would have probably been better made placing them in foster care. With that being said, I don't think anyone would have been less outraged.

Some points that I really do not agree with:

Many people mentioned that the children should have the right to decide if they want to see their father. No they don't. A nine year old does not have the capacity or the legal right to make that decision. The court should and did step in.

The father should just let the kids go and not fight the mother. I am not sure that this works either. Is a "stable" environment with one parent better than the "unstable" of both fighting for the child?

If this case were switched with children not wanting to see their mother, would peoples opinion change?

Before we go on and on about this case, let's take a minute to stop with knee jerk reactions. It is ok to agree with the Judge and it is certainly ok to disagree as well. It is not ok to question people parenting since they take the opposite position.